Easter 2018

Easter 2018

Well, Christmas has come and gone without our yearly Greenwood CHRISTmas Letter!  During Christmas, there were a lot of conversations about possible changes happening concerning our family, so we decided to wait and see what settled out.  We are doing things a little differently this year…instead of mailing all of our letters, we are going to use social media and email. Instead of a CHRISTmas letter we are doing an Easter letter. The Lord has really been working on me to simplify things since the Bible study I did last summer with the women of our church.  So here goes to change…something I don’t often embrace, but as the Lord continues to fine tune me, I find it better to embrace Him and His ways instead of fighting Him. And another added bonus…it is saving us TONS of money!! Can I get an “Amen” from my Dave Ramsey friends?

So, the BIG news we have been sitting on for a couple of weeks now is that we are MOVING!!  Yes, you read that correctly. There are many reasons for our move, but the biggest reason is our desire to be obedient to the Lord’s calling on our lives.  Chris will be the new Sr. Pastor at Forest Hills EPC in Wilson, NC. We are excited about how the Lord will use us in this area of our country to further His kingdom’s work.  With this move, it puts us within 45 minutes of one set of grandparents and a few hours closer to our South Georgia grandparents. I know ALL the grandparents are excited to have us a bit closer.  As we have been preparing to move to Wilson, we have been trying to figure out our living situation. We quickly found out that Wilson doesn’t have much of a rental market. Because of this, we have found ourselves buying our FIRST home!!  We had put an offer in on a house, but the sellers were not willing to fix the inspection repairs. So, we walked away from that house and are trusting the Lord to provide the home He wants us to raise our kiddos in and do the ministry He has called us to.  2018 is full of many changes…leaving our church and friends, self-packing our home and having our stuff moved across state lines in less than a month, Chris starting a new call as a Sr. Pastor, Sara getting the Hootie Hoos adjusted and settled into a new home and community, and buying our first home.  I told Chris that we must believe in going BIG or going home!!

Let’s get started with the Hootie Hoos update!  As always, we will start with our oldest, Josiah.  He turned nine this summer. I still can’t believe it!  It seems just like yesterday we were celebrating his first Easter with him.  He started 4th grade this year…yes, 4th grade!  His favorite subjects are science and art.  This kid loves to explore…create…figure out how things work.  I am thankful for the great science curriculum we got this year.  It has SUPER easy science experiments for each lesson. Most of the stuff that needs to be used is stuff I already have lying around the house.  To see him in action and come to life when he does these science experiments brings great joy to my heart. He has been into drawing for awhile now.  His grandparents gifted him an art camp for his birthday this past summer. Each day he was SO excited to share his creation when he was picked up. We have a couple of his pieces hanging up.  He spent a few days last fall drawing different animals with pencil. Man, I couldn’t believe that my child had drawn these pictures! He played soccer in the fall and basketball this past winter. He likes both sports, but he continues to say that basketball is his favorite.  He continues to do AWANA this year and does an amazing job of storing God’s Word in his heart. Because of our upcoming move, his AWANA teachers are allowing him to work at his own pace to complete his book because we will not transfer to a new AWANA program to finish off this year.  I have been SUPER impressed with his perseverance to finish his book ahead of the rest of his group. We have enjoyed seeing him to continue to grow in his gentleness and kindness. We have been working with him to take initiative around the house and in situations…to be the humble leader that we can see he has the potential of being.  He has definitely accepted the challenge (on most days) and is stepping up and taking initiative and it makes this mom and dad proud. These kinds of things make us excited to see how the Lord is going to use Josiah to further His kingdom’s work.

Next, we have Sophie.  She turned eight in January! She is in 2nd grade this year and is doing a lot of the same work as Josiah.  The subjects they do together are history, Bible, science, Latin and reading.  She is doing her own grade in math, English, spelling and art. Her favorite subjects this year are English and art. This girl is VERY creative when it comes to writing stories and illustrating them.  And she LOVES to read. Often times, I find her curled up in her bed or on the couch in our front room reading a book. Library Day is one of her favorite days. Most times she has her library book bag filled to the top and can barely carry it on her own!  She continues to be our “cautiously observant” child. BUT when she is comfortable with someone, she comes to life! She has quite the funny personality. She likes to make up her own jokes/puns. And my favorite thing is when she changes her voice when telling us a story. This fall she played soccer and was able to move up an age bracket.  She also did basketball in January and improved tremendously from last year! She continues to be very competitive…I have NO IDEA where she gets that from! 😊  She is continuing with AWANA and is doing an amazing job of memorizing God’s Word. She has completed her book for the year and has started on a bonus book that she is currently tearing through!  It is amazing how much these kiddos can absorb on a daily basis! The last few weeks, Chris and I have both noticed how grown up she is looking and acting. A few times, I was caught off guard by the emotions I felt when watching her comb her hair or putting a necklace on and thinking about her growing up and possibly getting married one day.  But I digress. We have also noticed that serving others is becoming a passion of her heart. When I am doing things at the church, she wants to be right there helping me. When I am cooking and cleaning around the house, she is the first to volunteer to help me. She will secretly make beds for her siblings and sometimes for us. We can’t wait to see how God is going to use her heart of serving others to show others how much Jesus loves them.  

Now, time for Kyrie. She turned six in November and started kindergarten this year.  Her favorite subjects are science and math. In science, we have recently been learning about animals.  This girl has such a tender heart towards animals. She desperately wants to have a dog to the point that she has an imaginary dog named Astra. 😊 She keeps mentioning that since we will be buying a house, we can finally get a dog. For the longest time, renting our house has been my reason to not get a dog.  She is a smart one! She has really picked up on her math skills figuring out math problems that she hasn’t even been taught yet. The beginning of the year, she wasn’t very excited about school.  Up to this point, I didn’t overly stress about her doing school. If she wanted to play with Tobias, then I would let them play. It was a bit of an adjustment for her, but now she gets right to her school work before we have even officially started our school day.  She has also begun to like reading and will choose to read instead of always being asked to read. She has also gotten more into acting out little plays that she has created in her mind. It is a good day in her book when she can get her siblings to participate in her play.  A year ago January, she did cheerleading while the two older ones played basketball. She decided that she didn’t want to cheer this year, but would rather try soccer. She did a great job considering last year she didn’t want to play because she didn’t want to get sweaty! 😊  I think Chris coaching her team helped her tremendously with feeling comfortable on learning a new sport.  Kyrie moved up in AWANA and is doing full Bible verses this year instead of shortened verses like she did last year.  We are so proud of her taking the time each week to memorize her Bible verses and storing God’s Word in her heart. She just finished her book for the year which she is super excited about!  We continue to admire her nurturing heart…the way she gets joy from taking care of people, stuffed animals, and baby dolls brings joy to this momma’s heart. We can’t wait to see how the Lord will fine tune these character traits in Kyrie to make His name known.

Lastly, we have Tobias.  He turned four this summer and started K-4 this year.  Most days he is excited about school, but there are days when he just wants to play.  Most of the time when he wants to play I let him since full-time school will be here before we know it!  His reading is improving tremendously. He is enjoying reading Dick+Jane books. I can’t believe he is the last one to use these books. ☹  His favorite subjects in school are math and handwriting. He is also doing a great job counting to 100 by 1’s. Around 50 he needs help with the transition number (50, 60, etc.), but he continues to count the rest of the numbers on his own.  He is trying so hard to count by 10’s like his big sister and is getting closer to doing it. His handwriting his improved tremendously in the last month or so. He enjoys writing his name and the letters that he learns each week. This past fall Tobias played soccer and had a BLAST.  Most weeks while he was waiting for his soccer practice, he would be found with the older kids running around and kicking the ball. He definitely has no fear and believes that his age and size can’t hold him back! The basketball season has been hard for him because he wants to be out on the court.  Often times, we find him practicing with the two big Hooties. I don’t know how many times he has gotten hurt trying to keep up with them! This kid is FULL of personality! It is safe to say that he is by far our most extroverted child. Last winter, he got it in his head that he wanted to sing in our church’s talent show.  We honestly thought that as it got closer, he would want to back out. But as he practiced on the stage, it gave him an even bigger desire to sing. He did an AMAZING job for a three-year-old singing “10, 000 Reasons” by Matt Redman. He has been planning for his next big performance where he is singing by himself (and some days) with Sophie and Kyrie as his backup dancers! 😊  There are many days that this momma gets way more emotional with this guy.  I guess it is because he is the baby of the family and there are LOTS of lasts with him.  But we love watching him grow into who God wants him to be. We can’t wait to see how God uses Tobias’ love of life, joyful spirit and giving heart to further His kingdom.

In case you’re wondering about mom and dad, we are doing well. Right now, life is a bit busy…to say the least.  This past year we have been disciplers, life group leaders, and marriage counselors just to name a few. Chris has been a flurry of activity at the church working with and developing current and new leaders, laying the foundation for new discipleship programs, and maintaining his other pastoral duties. Sara has matched him in the pace of life as a homeschool mom, an active part of the women’s ministry, and a wonderful helpmate to me (Chris).  We are sad to see this season end here are VA Beach, but the Lord has amazingly made all this fall into place in about three months…a normal pastor search can take anywhere from 6-12 months!!! The next few weeks will be hard emotionally as we pack up our home and spend time with our dear friends. We know that the Lord has been working this move out. Our greatest desire is to be obedient to Him and to teach our kiddos to be obedient as He leads us.  A couple of days ago, I shared with someone that it is so easy to teach on obedience during discipleship time, but how hard it can be to live that out. It is really easy to obey when the Lord asks you to pay for a meal or pay for groceries. It is easy when He asks you to reach out to someone. But this is hard...leaving a church where you love the people you are ministering to...leaving a “dream job” to do something unfamiliar…taking a big pay cut…buying your first home.  In our mind, none of this makes sense, but what makes sense is for us to obey Him…to trust Him. A few weeks ago, the Lord gave me an image of a bird nest. I told Him I wasn’t ready to leave the nest…that I liked it here…that it was comfortable and familiar. And then He told me that I needed to trust Him and the wings that He has given us. Gentle He has been gathering us to the edge of the nest. He is saying it is time to spread our wings and fly.

"Yet those who wait for the Lord

Will gain new strength;

They will mount up with wings like eagles,

They will run and not get tired,

They will walk and not become weary."

Isaiah 40:31

So, that is what has been going on in the Greenwood Family.  We hope that this letter finds you well. Once we find a home, we will let you know our new address.  

Continuing to learn to live and love like Jesus,

Chris, Sara, Josiah, Sophie, Kyrie and Tobias

Family website:

http://toliveandlovelikejesus.blogspot.com/

Mathetes 268 Ministries website:

http://mathetes268.com/

Forest Hills Presbyterian Church website:

http://www.foresthillsepc.com/

An Honest Vacation Reflection

The first week in October, we were on a family vacation to Myrtle Beach.  Last year, the Session of our church blessed us with a week stay to any of the Quiet Waters resorts.  After much discussion, Chris and I decided that it would be nice to have a family vacation in the fall with the kids.  It was hard finding a place big enough for our family, but Chris was persistent and found this resort in Myrtle Beach that was big enough for us and had some activities that we could do as a family.  While we were there, we were able to have some great family time playing cards and board games, going swimming each day and having an outing most days.  The kids even got to see one set of grandparents the first couple of days. 

On Sunday night, the kids were able to hang out with my parents.  They played games and got to stay up late.  Sadly, my mom had to head back to Georgia Monday afternoon because she had some deadlines at work that she needed to meet.  But before she headed back, we were able to spend the morning at the kiddie pool and splash pad. We were able to float on the lazy river and spend some time in the not- too-hot hot tub.  

In the not-so-hot hot tub with Mimi and Bup-Bup

After nap time, we headed to the indoor pool and swam until our hearts content. After dinner, my dad took us to get ice cream at one of the local ice cream shops.  The kids were in heaven getting this special treat…and let’s be honest, mom and dad weren’t complaining too much either!  😊  That night, my dad got a phone call which involved an unexpected thing he needed to take care of. He decided to head back the next morning to try to get it taken care of before heading to back to work towards the end of the week.  

We got up Tuesday morning to find Tobias was running a fever.  He and I spent the morning cuddling in bed and watching TV shows and playing Uno while the others went to the indoor pool.  Tobias was still running a fever after nap time, so he got to hang out with me some more while the others went to the pool.  As a special treat, he got to “swim” in the two-person jetted tub.  It wasn’t as great as the swimming pool, but he still had a good time. 

Hanging out with mommy while having a fever

Wednesday was a lazy morning…lots of cuddling in the king bed while watching TV shows, playing games, drawing and eventually a swim in the pool.  Before heading to dinner, we visited a local candy shop and each of the kiddos got to pick out ¼ of a pound of candy…ANYTHING they wanted!  You would have thought we handed them a million dollars!! After the candy shop, we headed to Medieval Times for dinner.  I honestly don’t know who had more fun…the kiddos or Chris!!  Both of the girls received a gift from the knight…Sophie received a flower and Kyrie received a sash that said “Queen of the Tournament.” What made the night even better was the fact that our knight won the tournament…the kiddos were beside themselves and even wanted to get his autograph! 

 

Medieval Times...our knight won!

Thursday was another fun-filled day.  We headed to Wonder Works for the morning.  The kids had SO much fun with the interactive stations…and mommy felt so much better feeling like we were getting some educational activities in!  😉  We all took an afternoon nap and then Chris headed to the pool with the kids while I kept sleeping! 😊  That night Kyrie started running a fever, but nothing too serious. It was hard to tell if it was allergy related or sickness.  

 

Wonder Works

Mommy had to get over her slight fear of heights to do this ropes course with these two!

We got up on Friday morning and Kyrie still had a low-grade fever.  We decided to have a less active day and headed to one of the state parks where we walked on the beach collecting seashells.  It was so nice to get out in the fresh air and just enjoy God’s beautiful creation!  After nap, we surprised the kiddos by taking them to the Sky Wheel…think BIG Ferris wheel with enclosed seating!  This was BIG for Chris since he doesn’t like heights, but the two older kiddos had been looking at the tourist pamphlet all week so he thought it would be great to surprise them.  I could tell the whole time this wasn’t fun for him, but I could also tell that he was enjoying the fact that the kiddos were having so much fun! After the Sky Wheel we had a quiet night at the condo.  

 

Walk on the beach

Sky Wheel

On Saturday we spent most of the morning at the condo and then got a quick swim in.  After nap we headed to a shoe store to get the kiddos some fall shoes. I may or may not have used some of my birthday money to buy me some new fall shoes, too! 😊  Then we picked up Chick-fil-a on the way home and then had our family movie night.  Everyone got tucked into bed for the night, and Chris and I enjoyed our last night of vacation by hanging out.  The next morning, we packed up and headed home.  We stopped to have lunch with a dear friend from our time in NOVA.  It was so sweet to see her and her 9-month old baby that doctors said would never be.   It was great to catch up with her since her recent move to NC. It was icing on the cake to end our vacation catching up with an old friend!

Hanging out with Arlene and Beckett!!

As you read about our week, some of you may be thinking that we had an AMAZING vacation!! That we got to have some good family time and watch our kiddos experience new things.  Don’t get me wrong…we did enjoy those things, but there is one SIGNIFICANT event that happened while on our trip!  I could have left this blog with all the happy and fun stuff, but the Lord has been very clear about what He wants me to share and why He wants me to share this event.

On Tuesday night, we got all the kiddos tucked into bed for the night and Chris and I stayed up to watch “This Is Us.”  We headed to bed shortly after that.  I started to doze off while Chris was reading.  I woke up to our neighbors being loud…yelling.  I will admit, I am one of those people who has no problem calling a front desk when neighbors are being too loud.  I mean it was after 11pm and they woke me up from their yelling!  Then all of a sound we heard the loudest bang ever followed by a bunch of screaming.  In that moment, I knew it was a gun that had gone off.  I started to panic and went to the front of the condo where the girls were (our room and the boys’ room were at the back of the condo).  When I went in there, Sophie was standing up by the window telling me, “Momma, we aren’t the ones making all that noise!”  I grabbed Kyrie who was still sleeping and told Sophie to come with me.  Chris was looking through the windows to figure out what was going on and then called the police.  The dispatcher said that someone had already called and the police were on their way.  I got the girls tucked into our bed and went to check on the boys who were sleeping through it all.  I was a complete mess…I was fearful because I didn’t know if the gun was going to be shot again.  All I could hear was screaming and crying!  I felt sick to my stomach!  I felt like part of me had been violated because here we were in a family friendly resort with a gun being accessed easily that could have harmed one of our children!   Once the police arrived, Chris decided to head out to let them know a pastor was available.  I am going to be real honest right now…I wasn’t happy about him doing that.  Here I was upset, and he was heading out to tell the police he was available if anyone needed a pastor…I wanted to say, “What about me?  What about the fact that I am upset over here and you want to go help others?”  I even thought, “Lord, can’t wait just have a family vacation without having to do ministry?”   My flesh was definitely at war!  When Chris came back in, he told me that he found out what had happened.  One of the teenage girls from next door got into a fight with her parents.  Her parents gave her a punishment for something that she had done, and she was so upset that she got the mom’s gun and then killed herself…just like that this girl’s life was gone.   When I heard what had happened, I felt like the biggest schmuck for thinking all of those selfish things.  This mom has to live the rest of her life knowing her daughter killed herself with the gun she brought on their family vacation.  I confessed how selfish I had been in the moments before. Then the Lord then reminded me that we NEVER get a break from living and loving like Jesus. It is a 24-7/365 day a year calling!   I did stop and say out loud, “Praise Jesus for keeping our girls safe…that there weren’t any stray bullets that came through the wall!” 

Chris and I got very little sleep…I think he may have gotten more than me because I kept getting up and checking on the kiddos and seeing if the police were still there.  I finally laid at the foot of the bed where the girls were sleeping because I wasn’t sure how much they had heard from the night’s event.  I wanted to be close by just in case they had a bad dream.    Wednesday was a hard day both physically and emotionally…we were SO tired!  We knew we needed to keep on with our trip even though I wanted to head home.  We also knew that at some point we were going to need to have a conversation with the girls to see how much they heard from the night before.  I fought against getting mad...I felt like I was forced to have a conversation with our girls that I didn’t want to have!  I asked a couple of friends to be praying for us as we prepared to have this conversation.  We knew we didn’t want to share any more details than necessary, but at the same time I wanted to make sure our introverted girls weren’t keeping anything inside.   So, we started off by asking them if they heard anything the night before.  Kyrie said, “Nope” and Sophie said, “I heard a bunch of screaming.”   I asked her how it made her feel to hear all that screaming. I gave her some descriptive words to help her.  And she said, “I thought it was strange that there were a bunch of kids screaming that late.”   Chris then explained that there was a really bad accident in the condo next door to us…that it was bad enough that the ambulance and police had to be called.  I asked her again how all that screaming made her feel knowing that the police and ambulance had to come.  Her response, “I still think it was strange to have all those kids screaming so late.”   And in that moment, I quietly praised Jesus.  Not only had He kept them safe physically, He kept them safe emotionally!!   The only thing I can think of why she associated all the screaming with kids is because when her and her siblings play outside they tend to do a bunch of screaming.   We tried to have a normal day for the sake of the kids, but it was hard.  Every time we walked by our neighbor’s condo, I felt anxious.  I didn’t know if they were still there…I didn’t know if there was another gun in there.  I felt so unsettled.  On our way home from swimming, we saw the mom in the parking lot packing up their car.  In that moment, part of me felt a small amount of relief.  I gathered the kiddos up and Chris stayed behind to talk to her…to see if she needed anything or if she needed to talk.  I started getting the kiddos cleaned up and ready for our afternoon adventures of a candy shop and Medieval Times. It was nice to get out of the condo for the evening…in the midst of a bunch of strangers I felt safer there than in our condo.   That night we got back and got the kiddos ready for bed.  We put the girls back in the room that they had been and then went to tuck in the boys.  Chris and I headed to the living room, and I just got this unsettling feeling over me.  I know I was going to stretch Chris, but I needed to ask…I needed for our girls to sleep in our decked out master suite.   I needed him to give up the double person jetted tub.  I needed him to give up the big screen TV that we had no problem watching from our king bed.  I needed the girls to be at the back of the condo protected by the wooded area instead of at the front of the condo exposed to everything and everyone.  Oh, how Chris was so gracious to me…how he loved me in that moment…how he didn’t give me a hard time about feeling so unsettled. Even though we got the girls moved into our room, it wasn’t enough to help me sleep well.  My mind was still replaying the yelling, the gunshot and those blood curdling screams.  My heart was still breaking for this mom who was traveling home with one less child.  I still was searching and asking God what He wanted me to learn from all of this.  I sat in silence.  There was no answer.    I did this night after night.  I searched…I sat in silence…there was no answer.  Then as we were packing up Sunday morning, I was thinking about posting all the pictures from the week and writing a blogpost.  I was going to share all of the GOOD highlights from our trip.  As I was thinking about what I would write, the Lord said, “Go take a picture of your neighbor’s condo door.”  I thought He was CRAZY, but after His persistence, I took the picture.  

And then He began speaking about transparency.  In this day and age, it is SO easy to create a picture-perfect life on social media. I could have easily done that when I posted pictures of our family vacation.  I could have shared all the fun things we got to do as a family…all the new things that the kiddos got to experience for the first time…all the wonderful family time we got to have.  But He finally answered me in the busyness of packing up our van that He wanted me to share what our family vacation was REALLY like.  He wanted me to share that even though I am a pastor’s wife, I am no different than any other disciple of Jesus…I struggle with my flesh…I didn’t want my husband to go minister to someone else when I was struggling myself. I didn’t want Chris to go offer his help because he was on vacation...he shouldn’t have to do ministry while on vacation!  And I struggled with walking in fear…fear of our neighbors having another gun…fear of our girls being left vulnerable in their room…fear of being judged if I actually share the thoughts that sometimes go around in my head.   

So, I share all of this because life gets messy. Things…ok, vacations…don’t go as we had planned.  Sometimes we have moments when we fight our flesh because in a particular moment we don’t want to live or love like Jesus.  But in those moments, I am thankful that He has far more grace than I could ever give to others or myself.  

 I questioned many times during our vacation why He had chosen us to be a part of this family’s tragedy. It is because He knew Chris would reach out and show them Jesus…He knew we would pray for this family every time we walked by their condo.  But there was so much more…He knew I needed to grow deeper in His grace and He knew I need to continue to learn to die to myself. 

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  -2 Corinthians 12:8-9

“He (Jesus) must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30

So, friends...this was what our family vacation REALLY looked like.  Yes, we had some wonderful times together, but we also had moments that were hard...that stretched us.  There were moments that I wished I had responded more like Jesus instead of reacting to my flesh.  But through it all, Jesus was walking with us each step of the way...showing me that His grace is enough to help me decrease so that He can increase more in my life.  

A New Season

As I sit here on the couch, part of me is at peace and another part of me is restless.  I know it seems kind of strange to be feeling both of those things at the same time...but I am.

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with the two ladies that I have been discipling this past year.  I told them that Chris was starting Year 2 of Discipleship at the church and it would mean that they would transition into discipling another lady, if the Lord was leading them to do that.  I also told them that he would be offering a class twice a month to walk with them and all the other people he had been discipling this past year as they began the journey of one-on-one discipleship.   In short, they were graduating and our weekly meetings would be coming to an end.

At first, I was excited.  I was ready to free up my weekly schedule a little bit.  Between church and Hootie activities, we had something everyday from Sunday thru Thursday...not to mention homeschooling and day-to-day living.  Most of the time Chris' days off were spent catching up on chores, running errands and squeezing in some family time. I was excited to be able to have a little more of a relaxed evening on the nights that I was typically discipling  someone.  Most nights that I discipled there was A LOT of fussing going on to get the Hooties in bed before I started discipling. Honestly, all that fussing wasn't the best way to get ready for discipling, but Chris was at the church either discipling or having a meeting so it was just me getting the Hooties ready for bed.   I want to be VERY clear...I wouldn't change my last year of pouring into these ladies.  I know without a doubt I was doing exactly what the Lord wanted me to do.  Each week when I felt tired in the evening and didn't know if I would have the energy to get through the night, He would give me an extra burst of energy to meet with these ladies...He always provided.

The first day that I wasn't meeting with one of the ladies, one of the Hooties asked during our morning prayer time if the lady I discipled that night was coming over.  I told them that she wasn't.  They looked a little shocked.  I told all of the Hooties that I was done discipling for awhile and that I was going to spend some time pouring into them...that I was going to be discipling them for awhile.  The looks on their faces when I said that was priceless.  It was almost as if they felt honored that their mom was going to spend time pouring Jesus into them...even though I do it on a daily basis.  I think the fact that I don't go around saying I am discipling them made them think I don't. :)   I was feeling good about the decision to not be discipling for awhile.  My discipler has told me often over the last seven and half  years that my kids are my first disciples and I couldn't agree more with her!!

But then it hit me last week that this was the first time in seven years that I wouldn't be discipling someone!  I shared with Chris and a good friend about my struggle, and I am thankful for the hard questions they asked me.  One of them asked if I was struggling with  thinking that I needed to keep my hand in the midst of discipling because I felt like I had more experience and could do a better job. The other asked if discipling had become my identity.  Let me tell you, those were not fun questions to be asked, but I am thankful for people who aren't afraid to ask the hard questions!   The Lord and I had already spent some time working through those questions, and I can confidently say that I am not struggling with either of those issues.

As I continued to pray and spend time with the Lord, I feel like part of me is mourning as this door of discipleship is being closed for a time.  I don't know why a part of my feels sad about that.  Maybe it is because I have such a passion for discipleship...for encouraging ladies as they encounter God in a whole new way...for being able to witness God moving in the life of another and having a front row seat to it all...to being able to pray with a woman as she reaches for the higher bar that Jesus is calling them to...to simply walk with a women as she takes one step after another as she learns to empty herself out and be filled back up with Jesus.

 I am not sure how long this door will be closed, but one thing I have learned over the years of being discipled is to trust the One who has created me.  I am trusting Him with this extra time as He asks me to be more intentional in my relationship with Chris and the Hooties.  I am trusting Him as He has brought new friendships into my life and using this extra time to invest in those friendships. I am trusting Him with this extra time to love others like Jesus without feeling like I have to rush to the next activity in our day.  I am simply trusting Him to be still and to rest in Him.

 As I enter into this new season, I feel like the Lord has called me to embrace this season as a type of sabbatical.  Since studying about spiritual disciplines this summer, I have been praying  and seeking on how to make our days more restful.  I have been praying and seeking on how to give our family a day of rest on one of Chris' days off.  

The Lord has given me practical things to do.  He has helped me to rearrange our cleaning/chore schedule.  He has encouraged me to switch our leftover night to our day of rest.  I have submitted to switching when I run errands during the week, so we aren't doing it on Chris' day off.  I am listening ever so carefully to Him before committing to an activity.  I am truly trying to seek Him and His ways to reclaim a Sabbath day for our family. 

At first it was hard to rework our schedule.  I tend to be a creature of habit.  My mind set is if something is working then why change it.  But as I began to seek the Lord, I realized what we were doing wasn't really working.  Chris and I have continually been in a state of  tiredness.  We would crash into bed at night exhausted.  I would feel the guilty of fussing one too many times at the Hooties.  I regretted missing one too many opportunities to love Chris and the Hooties well because I just wanted to check out for a bit.  I couldn't count how many times I left hanging out with a friend and feeling like they hadn't received my best. And I won't even mention how often I shortchanged my time with God because I was either too tired or had to get to the next thing on our calendar.  

As I enter into this new season,  I will cling to Mark 6:31.  It says,

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'"

So, I am looking forward to this next season.  This time could last a few weeks, months or even  a year(s).  I have no idea how long this sabbatical will last, but I know the One who is in charge of my life.  Until He tells me to disciple again, I will be spending my time intentionally loving Chris and the Hooties.  I will spend my time nurturing those friendships that the Lord is blessing me with in VA Beach. And lastly, I will be spending time being still before the Lord and allowing Him to fill me up until my cup overflows.