Towards the end of the week, I felt like I didn't spend my time well with the kiddos...or the Lord for that matter. I noticed that when I am in a blah mood, I tend to check out with social media or home buying/renovation shows on HGTV. I shared with a dear friend that I was struggling and later that day she picked up the phone and we talked. I shared my heart knowing she would be praying for me in the days ahead. I also met with my discipler...well, that always gives me a new perspective on things. 😊
As we entered into the weekend, I felt my spirit lifting. The phone conversation with my friend...the time with my discipler...it is what my spirit needed.
We ended up having a great family weekend. We painted on our front door that looked like a stain glassed window with a cross at the center of it, we went on a car Easter egg hunt, spent time outside, worshiped together as a family, gathered around for our Easter lunch, had an egg hunt in our yard...it was a wonderful family weekend despite all that is going on in our world.
Monday morning, I woke up and I felt my blah-ness coming back. I called out to the Lord and told Him that I really didn't want another week like last week. I wanted to glorify Him. I didn't want to just check out. As we had our family prayer time, the Lord gave me a word. The word was "perseverance."
The Lord reminded me of all the times I have trained for a 5K race and how I had moments of wanting to throw in the towel. He reminded me of the times I have run a 5K race and part way through I wanted to stop running and walk the rest of the way. There is usually a moment when I get exhausted and I wonder if I can make it to the finish line. But during my run, He reminds me to persevere and some how the two of us get me to the finish line and thus far all my races have be under the time limit I have set for myself!
As I started my day, the Lord showed me that last week was my part way through the race moment. The moment when I am exhausted. The moment when I want to give up and just walk the rest of the way. I wanted to spend some time sitting before the Lord because I felt like He was wanting to teach me something, but I knew we needed to get some school done first. As I was teaching the kiddos, the word "perseverance" stayed at the forefront of my mind. The Lord was being persistent with this word, so I knew I needed to take some time later in the day to just sit before the Lord.
As I got ready to sit down to study, I thought I was going to be spending my time in Romans 5 where the Bible talks about perseverance and character building. Before I opened up my Bible, I decided to look up the word "perseverance"...I wanted to have a good working definition. Perseverance means "not giving up" or "to do something and keep doing it until the end, even if it is hard." I wasn't surprised by either of these definitions.
But what caught my eye was the origin of the word. Perseverance comes from the Latin word "perseverantia" which means "to abide by something strictly". I stood amazed at what I had just read...to abide by something (or Someone) strictly! Immediately, the Lord lead me to John 15. I began reading, and the Lord had me focus on verses 1-11.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine dresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
The Lord began speaking to my spirit about abiding in Him. I decided to look up the word "abide" in the dictionary. The definitions I came across were "to conform to" and "to remain stable in." Yes, Lord!! Since the beginning of the quarantine, I have prayed that I wouldn't be in the same place spiritually as I was before all this started. I have prayed that He would use this time to deepen my faith in Him...that He would prune me...that because of Him I would bear much fruit. Today, He showed me that I can only do those things if I abide in Him strictly. I can cling to His word that, if I abide in Him, He will get me through this season bearing much fruit!
So, I submit this blog to you. If you are feeling weary...persevere. But don't just dig your heels in! Instead, abide in the One who created you. Abide so you can be conformed to the ways of Jesus. Abide so that you can remain stable in your faith. Abide, so that your joy may be full (or complete).
And in God's awesomeness, the song "Your Love Defends Me" by Matt Maher came on while I was running today! I pray it encourages you as much as it encouraged me.
