Leave It All Behind

This week is a pretty busy week for the Greenwoods. I will spare you all the details because this isn't a sympathy post, but a post to encourage those in the faith!

The last couple of weeks, I have found myself getting more and more anxious about our upcoming week and with that some of my old tendencies of perfectionism beginning to come to the surface. In my life perfectionism rears its ugly head and it comes out in different ways...getting up multiple times a night and remembering all the things I need to do which makes me EXTREMELY tired!  I tend to stress eat...eating junk because things have gone badly and eating junk as a reward when things have gone well!   I become detail focused...don't even get me started on that one!   I tend to clean...it has been a long time since I vacuumed and mopped our whole house at one time...I usually do a rotation...but on Friday, the whole house got vacuumed and mopped!   In my tiredness, morning exercise tends to be thrown out the window for a few more minutes in bed.  And I even get to the point where I try to control as much in my life as I can so I don't feel so out of control! Or I go to the other extreme and I just completely check out not caring about anything. So as you can see....LOTS of unhealthy behaviors!

I have been trying to deal with this on my own the last couple of weeks.  Admitting to the Lord when I haven't been making healthy choices.  Celebrating when I did.  But let me tell you...it has been EXHAUSTING!  Lots of up and down roller coaster emotions. 

Yesterday, I was feeling especially stressed thinking about our week and all the things the Lord has called us to do.  Just so you know...I do know the word no.  This week just happens to be a week when multiple things are happening at the same time.

Part of me felt a moment of relief when I remembered our church started something new two Sundays ago based on James 5:14-16

"Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

It is a time where the Elders of our church can pray for individuals.  So, I found myself up at the front of the church praying for Chris' back...he hurt it on Friday and it was still bothering him, so he wanted to receive prayer for that.  When we got done praying for him, I found myself standing in front of two of the Elders asking for prayer for myself.  I shared how I have been fighting perfectionism the last couple of weeks and how I didn't want it to rear its ugly head this week.  So, they prayed.  I walked away feeling more encouraged...feeling like the Lord would get me through this week.

Well, last night I didn't sleep well.  My first thought this morning was to stay in bed and sleep even though I had been running consistently the last two weeks.  But I read my Bible and spent a few minutes praying and realized that I needed to get up out of bed...I needed to go for my run.

I typically listen to Pandora while I run.  I get the free subscription so whatever song pops up, I listen to!

The first song: "Break Every Chain" by Jesus Culture

I thought to myself, "Oh...this is one of my favorite songs.  What a great song to run to this morning!" 

The second song: "Lord, I need You" by Matt Maher

When that song came on, I thought to myself, "Good one, God...I see what You are trying to do here." 

The third song was: "Resurrection Power" by Chris Tomlin

By this time, the Lord has gotten my attention.  I don't think it a mere coincidence that these particular songs have been played on my Pandora.  My thoughts?  "OK, Lord...what are you wanting to teach me?"

And then the fourth song came on: "The Well" by Casting Crowns.  The Lord now has my full attention.  

The first four lines...."Leave it all behind"   The Lord reminded me how far I have come in my struggle with perfectionism...Leave it all behind.  The Lord reminded me that one busy week doesn't mean that I have to go back to me old ways....Leave it all behind.  That because I am His child, I have a resurrection power that can break every chain in my life...I just need to leave it all behind.  When I have those moments of feeling stressed all I need to do is call out, "Lord, I need You" and He will be there...but I need to be willing to leave it all behind and seek after Him. So, as I go into this week I am feeling more encouraged.  Today has been a doozy with lots of unexpected things coming up.  There have been moments when I felt like things were out of control, but I have paused and called out, "Lord, I need You....I need You NOW!"  And He has whispered..."Leave it all behind and come to the well."

Remembering

It has been awhile since I sat down to do a little blogging.  The last year has been a whirlwind.  I can't believe that it has been almost a  year since we moved to North Carolina.  We are mostly settled in and have established another routine.

In January, I committed to read the Bible in a year.  Throughout the Old Testament readings, the word "remember" is repeated over and over again.  It is so easy for me to remember the joy-filled times in my life...marrying Chris, the births of our children, buying our first home, vacations, birthdays, etc.  As I type those words, a smile comes across my face.  And then there is the opposite of joy-filled times.  There are those pain-filled events that I don't want to remember. I would rather say, "Been there, done that and you can keep the t-shirt!"

Easter is one of those times that is hard for me to remember.  Twice in a five year period there was significant hurt that happened in our lives.  The first event happened at the first church where we called to minister.  The second hurt was leaving the second church where we were ministering.  The details don't matter, but know that church hurt is VERY real and can sometimes cause more pain than hurt from friends and family members.

As Easter has gotten closer, I can't help but remember these life changing events.  I want to skim over those pain-filled times, but the Lord is persistent.  He is calling me to remember. I can't help but ask, "Lord, why did You choose for these life-changing, pain-filled events to happen around Easter?" My thoughts are He could have chosen ANY time in the calendar to have these things happen...it didn't have to be one of the holiest times in the Christian calendar!

I have been meditating and praying.  The only thing that keeps coming up as I meditate and pray is the Lord wants me to remember.  See these events weren't only life-changing, but they were also faith-building events.

But this morning as I was running the song "At the Foot of the Cross" came on my Pandora playlist.  As I really listened to the words being sung, things become clearer. 

"At the Foot of the Cross" 

by Kathryn Scott

As I have walked through each of these pain-filled events, I had a choice.  I could either hold on to them so tightly and allow them to destroy what little faith I had in the Lord or I could lay every burden down at the foot of the cross and allow Him to mold me into the person He is desiring me to become.  

Let me be REAL honest here...it took me almost TWO years to lay the burdens of the first church hurts down at the foot of the cross.  It was a painful two years, but that process was NEEDED. 

It was needed because He needed to win my heart.  It was needed because He knew I needed to trade in my ashes for His beauty.  It was needed because He knew I needed to put on His crown of forgiveness. It was needed because He knew I needed to be willing to lay EVERY burden down at the foot of the cross and tell Him it wasn't mine to carry any more!

As I have been meditating on the words He wants me to write, the following verse from Isaiah comes to mind:

"to grant those who mourn in Zion--to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, 

the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; 

that they may be called oaks of righteousness, 

the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified." -Isaiah 61:3 

Oh, how appropriate is this verse!  The reminder that the Lord brings beautiful things out of the pain-filled times. He does all that so He may be glorified!

Five years (first event) and one year later (second event), I honestly can't think of a better time for these events to have happened.  Easter will never sneak by me on the calendar thus not letting me forget to remember all that the Lord has done in my life.  How He used these events to draw me closer to Him.  How He used them to grow an unwavering faith in Him.  How He used them to grow an abounding trust in His plan for our lives.  How He used them to grow a life of unhindered worship to Him in no matter what the circumstances.
 

Barrington "Bear" Grylls

Well, we did something that we have been talking about doing for awhile now! 

On Wednesday, I got a FB message from a family member wanting to know where we were in the dog process.  They knew we were going to be getting a dog for the kiddos.  We had gotten all the dog supplies for the kiddos for Christmas, but we had a couple of trips planned so we weren't planning on getting the dog until the end of January.  We wanted to be able to get the dog and spend some time adjusting and training the dog without any interruptions.

So, I wrote back and told them that we were planning on going to an dog adoption place on Monday after we got back into town from our trip.   They then asked if we would be interested in taking one of their puppies.  (They had gotten two and realized that two was one too many! I am sure it is like having twins!😆)  Chris and I took a few minutes to talk.  We let them know that we were interested, but we wanted to met the puppy and spend some time with him before we gave a definite answer.  Chris and I continued to pray throughout that day and that night we talked some more.  We both felt this was the dog we were suppose to get.  For us to tell them we wouldn't be taking the dog, there would have had to be something major happen when we spent time with him. 

That Sunday on our way home from our trip, we drove past our exit and went right to meet the puppy.  He and his brother were absolutely adorable, but definitely VERY active and would only interact with each other.  In those couple of hours, I TOTALLY understood why two puppies was too much!  I can't believe that they had been taking care of both of them for almost six weeks!!

We decided that evening that we would be taking Barrington "Bear" Grylls home with us!  If you look at the picture below...how could you NOT love that adorably cute face! We are thankful that the Lord knew the plans for us when it came to getting a dog.  Never in a million years did we think we would have a purebred English Springer Spaniel, but he has been the perfect addition to our family!  He loves our kiddos...he thinks he has lots of "puppies" to play with!  We are having to work on him not being so nippy...he is playing like he did with his brother.  The vet has given us some good advice on how to break him of this habit.  He thinks he is a lap dog and wants all the cuddles...and we are more than willing to give him some!

The first picture we got of Bear:

The first morning in his new home: